All Is Calm, All Is Bright...

      It seems like kids really "get" Christmas. They get that it is about family, being together, celebrating Jesus' birthday, and LOVE.

 

     Our grandsons, Brody (7 yrs.) and Logan (4 yrs.), had to celebrate Christmas a day early because their daddy, who is a Fargo fire fighter, had to work over Christmas.

 

December 23 was their "Night Before Christmas". They just knew Santa would stop at their house early so they could open their gifts in the morning as soon as Daddy got home from work.

 

     The tradition at their house is that the boys get to sleep under the tree in the living room the night Santa comes. The boys gathered all the necessary blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, and everything else needed for sleep and settled in for the night, but the excitement and anticipation was too much. They had a hard time settling down so Kristi (our daughter and the boys' mom) decided a familiar, gentle Christmas hymn might help settle them down.

 

As she gathered the boys on her lap, Kristi used her cell phone to record them as they sang, "Silent night, Holy night...". It seemed to do the trick and soon both boys were sound asleep under the soft glowing lights of the Christmas tree.

 

     Later that evening, Kristi sent me the recording she had made of the boys singing. Tears sprang to my eyes and ran down my face as I watched and listened to their sweet, innocent voices singing about the birth of Jesus. They "got" Christmas! It was about family and being together and love and celebrating a birth long ago.

    

"Silent night,

Holy night.

All is calm,

All is bright..."

 

"Sleep in Heavenly peace."

 

    

   

Good News and "Not What I Was Hoping For" News

          I haven't written in awhile because we've been on vacation!!! Arland and I and a couple we are good friends with decided we were going on a celebratory vacation to observe the end of my chemo and radiation! We took a week and drove to Branson, Missouri. We had a great time and saw lots of awesome shows there. The entertainers are soooo very talented. We also spent half of a day at Silver Dollar City. We all commented that we had never seen so many Christmas lights! It was a beautiful time to visit. Both Branson and Silver Dollar City were decorated with BILLIONS of lights and looked very festive. It was easy to get into the Christmas spirit with all the delightful decorations.

 

     All four of us like to see and do as much as we possibly can while on vacation so we came back tired but happy. It was a fun-filled week! The Golden Thread is that I am well enough to travel and to enjoy time spent with friends.

     There is more good news/bad news! The good news is that my hair is coming back! It is about 1/2 inch long. WHOO HOO!!! The bad news is that my hair color matches the snow!!! AAARGH!!!

I may have to get this...

 

 

 

     I had an infusion of Herceptin on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. They also did blood work at that appointment. I have been feeling quite tired but just thought that was "left over" from radiation.

 

The blood tests showed that my blood was STILL not back where it should be. That's why I am feeling wiped out. My hemoglobin, RBC (red blood count), WBC (white blood count), and hematocrit (proportion of the blood that consists of red blood cells) were all waaaay lower than where they should be and what I had expected them to be by now.

 

 My platelet count was also in the basement again which explains the extra black-and-blue marks I've accumulated. I was sooo disappointed! I guess I thought those prenatal vitamins and the vitamin B-12 supplement I take every day would have worked a little faster.

 

     I'm setting my sites on Christmas for getting all my counts back up to where they should be. Hopefully, I'll make that goal!

 

     Hmmm...I'm wondering if all the Christmas baking I've been doing these last few days might help my blood... 

 

Would you say it's worth a try??????

 

 

I Am Thankful!

     Thanksgiving is synonymous with counting our blessings and our graces from God. Looking back over the past nine months, (yes, it's been nine months since this venture began) there are many things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.

 

     Breast cancer, or any chronic health condition for that matter, is tough! It can scare you, make you feel frustrated, resentful, and just plain crabby. If you’re dealing with an illness, your life may have been totally torn apart by the physical toll of treatment, the emotional trauma of fear and anger, and all the disruptions that cancer or other illnesses bring to life.

Not much to be thankful for???? Well, step back. Away from the ravages of chemo, the pain of surgery, the trials of radiation, the unpleasant medications, the angst that awakes you at 2 a.m. Take a broader view. You’ll discover that despite everything, there are still soooo many things to be grateful for. Here are just a few:

1. I’m thankful to simply be alive and to be here. It really does change things a lot when you wake up each morning and are truly thankful for another day to live, to love, to laugh, and to enjoy your life, your family, your friends and all the things that are important to you. So long as members of my family and I all have our health, every day is a good day. Can you see me smiling? It’s because I’m here, I’m breathing, and I’m enjoying another day. Nothing else really matters! Every day I open my eyes and am grateful for life. I didn’t do that as much as I should have before. I took a lot for granted.  Now I don’t.

2. I'm thankful for my family. I’m thankful for my husband who has shared the last 40+ years of my life. He takes such good care of all of our family, especially me! He has pulled me through the dark times and I couldn’t imagine life without him. Thanks, Hon!

     I am also thankful for our children. Our three kids are the best! From sitting with me through every second of chemo, to calling to just say "Hi!" and ask how I'm feeling, to bringing Brody, Logan, and Olivia over to cheer up my day, to driving me home when I was too weak, tired, or nauseated to do it myself, to uploading my pictures for this blog, to making me a chemo bag and a radiation bag! I am so grateful to them! Thanks Kristi, Bob and Katie and Jeremy, Cindy, and Daniel too. Your support means the world to me!!!

     Do you know what I prayed for during chemo infusions?  I prayed that I would live to become an old woman (maybe I should say an "even older" woman) so that I could see my grandchildren and even great-grandchildren grow up. I wear this prayer of "aging" with great pride. It's a sign of survival, of resilience, and that I'm still on my way to my ultimate goal in life.

3. I’m thankful for all of my wonderful friends. Through my friends, I have known the power of friendships that uplift, nurture, heal, calm, provide guidance, comfort, inspire, help me smile, make me laugh, show me a good time, help me forget for awhile, and so many other wonderful things. Whatever I’ve needed as far as people power in these past few months, God has provided in the form of friends. My friends have been there for me through the most challenging of times.  I am forever grateful and appreciative of all of these wonderful friendships. THANK YOU!

     My family and friends are amazing in how their love shines through. Their love flowed around me and surrounded me. People have soooo many ways of expressing love. Some actually say it: “I love you.”  Some friends brought homemade knefla soup, some sent fruit bouquets (I very much appreciated those because it was about the only thing I could eat at that time), some came to visit, some mailed a card every other day for at least three months in a row! Words escape me to describe the outpouring of love and friendship I have had. 

     Sometimes it’s tremendously difficult to open our hearts and let others see inside. I have come to understand more fully that my life matters and makes a difference to those around me.  Somehow I always hoped that was true, but now I know for sure! My family and friends have rallied around me and have gotten me through this challenging venture. Thank you dear family and friends!

4. I’m thankful to have had a cancer mentor. After we told family and close friends about my BC, I visited with a friend and former teaching partner who had BC several years before me and is doing wonderfully well now. Having someone by your side every step of the way who’s been there and done that, and “just knows” and understands all of the challenges that you’re facing both physically and mentally, made all the difference in the world for me! I will be forever grateful for this person’s presence in my venture. Thanks, Shawn!

5. I’m thankful to live in a place where we have access to skilled doctors and the best cancer care. I’m thankful to be living in a time where there are cures for cancer. Cancer treatments are so effective these days that they’re now concentrating on how to minimize side-effects. I have a few side effects that are permanent, but they don’t matter...I deal with and manage them. What matters is that I’m here. In another time I probably wouldn’t be. What a blessing to live in this time. The medical profession is full of compassionate, amazing and incredible people.  The passion and care I have had from my oncologists, chemo nurses, nurse practitioners, surgeon, radiology technicians, office staff, and others has overwhelmed me. I very much appreciate their dedication! Thanks Dr. Terstriep, Dr. Foster, Dr. Bouton, and all the others who have cared for me!

6. I’m thankful for my new perspective on life. There are a lot of terrible things about cancer, but there are good things too. I am really appreciative of my new perspective on life. There’s nothing I take for granted anymore. I know just how lucky and blessed I am. Everything changes. You see things differently, in a whole new light. I’m thankful that I’m here and that I’m alive to be writing this. I would never wish anyone to go through what I have, but I do appreciate and am thankful for this new perspective on life.

7. I am thankful for God's blessing and His gifts to me. I'm thankful for the ability to look deeply within. Cancer pushes you far beyond your limits. It forces you to really know yourself and to truly understand what your needs are both at the core of your person, and as the person you’ll evolve into in your life after cancer. Cancer forces you to become physically and mentally stronger than I ever thought I'd be able to become. You definitely learn to toughen up through medical tests and procedures. Now, someone will be explaining some test I have to have done and it is like “Well, let's get it done!”

     I am thankful for another gift also; that of discovering the fragility of life.  This has been a great gift because it makes me value even more everything I believed in from family, friends, God and how I live and have lived my life.  Losing your hair, your eyebrows, your eyelashes, your modesty, part of your breast, and control of your own life makes you dig really deeply as a woman.  That part of BC is one of the hardest things I went through. Our culture is very superficial about beauty and women.  Beauty definitely does come from the inside.  Breast cancer allows that inner beauty to shine forth. However, once you start to recover you discover you have an amazing gift to see beauty in a completely new way.

  8. I’m thankful for the gift of expression. Whether through talking to family and friends or writing on my blog, I’m thankful to be able to express what I have learned and what I have felt. Maybe that ability has been there all the time, or perhaps my cancer experience forced me to develop it further. Either way, being able to share this venture with you is yet another thing I am thankful for.

     I’m also thankful for another gift of expression; the Internet, its community, and its way of connecting all of us together. The support I’ve been blessed with from this vibrant and passionate community has been irreplaceable. I never cease to be amazed, uplifted, and inspired by all of the wonderful people within this community. I’m proud that I’m able to give back to this great community from which I’ve benefitted so much, by helping educate people about BC. If you are just starting BC treatments or even in the midst of it, be encouraged.  It does get better! You will smile again and you will feel hopeful! Here’s a mantra that has helped many women: “Cancer is a rock in the path. Step over it...the path will still be there.”  You’ll find hands reaching out to help you, all along the way. And for that, we can all be truly thankful.

     Understanding what I had been through, along with my self-assessment of God-given gifts and blessings, I came to the realization that God not only gave me all of the tools I needed to heal from this experience, but also the ability to express what I had learned to help heal and educate others. It has helped me understand perhaps a bit more about why I’m here, and has given me another purpose and mission in life. My Golden Thread has been to take what’s been such a challenging experience and to turn it around into something positive. That is one of the things I’m most thankful for.

 

     Have a happy, blessed, and thankful Thanksgiving with family and friends 

 

                                  

I'm Done...Sort Of!

     I'm done! I have officially finished my radiation!

     It is nice to be done with one more major step in this venture. It feels strange to not go to the RMCC each morning though, as I have done Monday through Friday during these last 6 1/2 weeks.

     What's the "sort of" part then? I will still be having my Herceptin infusion treatments every three weeks until next summer. Herceptin is the targeted drug infused through my port. Usually, Herceptin is pretty easy. This last time however, I spent a LOT of time in the bathroom (sorry if that's toooo much info!) and my nose ran for four days straight! But it's doable, very doable. After chemo, radiation and Herceptin feel like a walk in the park!

     I had amazing care during radiation. My team of radiation technologists was fun but yet very professional. We laughed, shared stories, and got to know each other a bit. Every Monday I met with Dr. Foster, my oncology radiologist, and his team of nurses. They evaluated my skin and checked the radiated area each week. I felt like they were really on top of things and were taking excellent care of me. At my final appointment, Dr. Foster was impressed with how quickly my skin was healing and how good the radiated area looked. It must be those awesome prenatal vitamins!  Hahaha!

 

These are two of the technicians, Kayla and Deb, that ran the huge radiation machine shown behind them. The big screen above their heads folded down and was the part that took x-rays every Thursday. The x-rays ensured that the technicians were lining up the machine (big, round machine on the left and behind them) precisely where I needed the radiation. Every radiation session had to be exact, to the very millimeter.

 

 

The radiation machine turned about 180 degrees around me when I was lying on that narrow plastic table. I laid on my back with my head right below the black pegs. My right hand grasped the peg closest to my head. My other hand was tucked under my body. The part that extends downwards (by her right shoulder) was the part that was placed very close to my breast when the radiation was delivered. The lens on the part close to my body was specifically made for me. For the last five treatments, it directed the radiation beams onto my body in a special shape because of the way they shaped the lens. The last five treatments were called "boosts" and were directed to the exact spot where my cancer was located before surgery. They were used to kill off any nasty cancer cells that may have lived through chemo and the wider spread radiation.

 

 

The first 28 radiation treatments did not use the special lens. The radiation beams were spread down the middle of my chest to the middle of my side and under my arm.

 

 

 

     In a response to my last post, someone mentioned strength. I found a quote in a book a friend gave to me at the beginning of this venture. It sums up what every person facing a cancer diagnosis must do: Look Fear In The Face!

   

 

     The golden thread in this venture has been doing what I and millions of others have done...looked fear in the face and decided that neither fear nor cancer will win this battle!

 

 

Cancer Does Not Discriminate

     I have to admit, like so many women, I always knew there was a one in eight chance. But like so many women, I never thought it would be me. When I was with a group of women, I was always number five or six...I was never number eight. I never thought I'd hear those devastating, life changing words: "You have breast cancer". Having breast cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not have had to belong to.

     In a sense, having cancer takes you by the shoulders and shakes you. Cancer puts things into perspective. 

    For years, I heeded the warning: Do monthly breast self-exams. Like most women, I did them on a 'sort of' basis. Every few months I'd sort of do a quick check, but never as thoroughly as the doctors urged. I didn't want to go looking for trouble. If you look for it, you might find it. Looking for cancer is unsettling. Ironically, my cancer never formed a lump. It was just an "area" that had cancer and it could not be felt. That's why mammograms are so important. A mammogram saved my life!

    When a doctor diagnoses you and the word 'cancer' comes out of his mouth, it changes your life. It's changed my life. Cancer has allowed me to be a lot more open. Open to change, open to trusting medical personnel with important medical decisions, open to new physical challenges, open to slowing down (not willingly, mind you!!!), and open to receiving help.

 

     One of the things I've always tried to do is help others. Now, by telling my story in such an open, public way, I am hoping to help someone else in a very small way. I'd like to turn a negative into a positive and if I can help others by sharing my story, then it's worth it! I'm holding onto the hope that by telling my story, I might be helping someone else through this scary experience.

     People used to say everyone knows someone who's had breast cancer. In the past few months, I've learned something else: Everyone has someone close to them, family or friend, who has had breast cancer. You hear about people your whole life, "So-and-so has cancer," and you think, "Wow, that's too bad," and then most people tend to go on about their business. But when someone tells you somebody in your family or a close friend has breast cancer, that doesn't tend to go away so quickly and easily. When a person has breast cancer, the whole family suffers with her, as do her friends. My family and friends have been my lifeline throughout this venture, helping me remain positive and upbeat. My family and friends have been my Golden Thread and I thank you for that!

     Healing is hard work, as is any change one must make in one's life. When I went public with my breast cancer diagnosis eight months ago, the overwhelming outpouring of love, prayers and support helped me heal faster, both physically and emotionally. Thank you for being part of my healing process.

     I never thought of having cancer as something that was unfair. I just braced myself and tried to get through it. I took on cancer like I take on everything else...like a mission, a job to accomplish. Beating cancer is a personal battle, a personal mission. It is one of the toughest opponents I have ever faced and I think I have done reasonably well, so far.

     I am healing...
 

 

Wouldn't Ya' Think!

     Here are a few observations I've made since I have started on this cancer venture. Some are funny, some are distressing, and some just make me shake my head!

     Wouldn't ya' think that new eyebrow hairs would have the good sense to grow where they belong rather than where they are sure to be plucked out! Ditto for nose hair!!!

     Wouldn't ya' think you'd get used to seeing your bald reflection in the mirror after five months?

       Wouldn't ya' think people would think twice about smoking cigarettes in their car as they drop someone off for treatment at the Roger Maris Cancer Center????????

    Wouldn't ya' think that if Taxotere (one of my chemo drugs) is strong enough to make toenails fall off, it should surely be strong enough to kill cancer cells!

    Wouldn't ya' think lumps should stick to muffins?

    Wouldn't ya' think the hair growing back on your head SHOULD be kind enough to return the same color as when it left???

    Wouldn't ya' think doctors, nurses, and radiation technicians should be required to use hand warmers before they touch a bare-from-the-waist-up-body?    :-)

     Wouldn't ya' think the SUPER GIANT SIZED burgundy colored hospital gowns could be "cute-ified"!

    Wouldn't ya' think I'd be almost glowing after 25 radiation treatments? I won't even NEED a costume for Halloween...I'll just glow in the dark!!!

    Wouldn't ya' think ghosts and goblins would scare me? Nope, nothing scares me now. I'm surviving breast cancer!!!

    Wouldn't ya' think breast cancer would have picked someone who wouldn't have fought so hard against it??? Guess not! Breast cancer...you picked the WRONG chick (or old hen!!!)

                                        My superpower is HOPE.

                                     I Hope, I Fight, I Am Winning!

I'm On The Downside!!!

     First, the good news! I am over 1/2 done with radiation!!! Today I had radiation treatment #20 out of 33. My side effects are similar to what I had written about last time...itching, redness, and some fatigue.

 

    Every Monday, I meet with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Foster. He says I'm doing ok as far as the amount of redness I've got. He suggested Benadryl for itching. I'm thinking I'll PASS on that!!! If you read the entry I wrote about the night I took Tylenol PM, you will know why I'm bypassing the Benadryl!!!  If you don't remember that entry, the long and short of it was that I was soooo incapacitated by the Benadryl that I walked into the wall, hit the chair, missed the bathroom doorway, and staggered and stumbled around like someone who had been drinking heavily! I didn't know that Tylenol PM had Benadryl in until my PA cousin Joan told me about it. I surely felt the effects of it that night! Like I said, I think I'll pass on the Benadryl!!!

 

    

 

 

 

   We had an apple-picking day Monday because it was such a warm day...70 degrees and no wind! Brody (left) and Logan (right) came over after school and we picked apples galore! The pictures show how we got all those apples picked.

  

     Last week, Arland, Bob, Olivia, and I went to the lake to turn off the water and get the water lines blown before it got too cold and froze our pipes or our pump.

 

Olivia LOVES books and I forgot to take some along for her to look at during our drive. I had a couple of magazines along that I had been looking through. When she saw me reading them, she wanted my "book" so I gave her the magazine I was reading. Here is what she did for the next 20 minutes!!!

 

       As I said, Olivia LOVES her books, even though they are magazines!

Radiation is 1/3 Done!

     I have passed the one-third done mark for radiation! Last week Thursday, I had radiation treatment # 11 out of 33. Radiation has been a cakewalk SO FAR when compared to chemo!!! That is a Golden Thread in itself!

 

     My side effects from radiation are redness (which is becoming very obvious now), itching in the radiated area, and tiredness. I am tired but manage to retain my regular routine, which included having the boys and Olivia at different times this week. Love that part of my routine!  :-)

     Something really funny (and a bit embarrassing) happened on Wednesday. When you go for radiation, you change into a hospital gown (think the tying kind. CUTE...not!) in a very small room. You leave your clothes in the tiny room but take your purse with you because the small rooms do not lock.

 

As I walked into the radiation room with my purse, Pam and Mary Jo, the radiation nurse technicians, were there waiting for me. Mary Jo remarked, "That's a Pam purse!"

 

All I heard was, "That's a Pampers!"

 

Because I had taken care of Olivia the day before, Pampers was what my brain IMMEDIATELY heard. I froze in my tracks, glanced down at my hospital gown, and TRIED to figure out WHERE in the world she saw a Pampers at!!!

 

Mary Jo then told me that Pam LOVES the bright green color so she thought it would be a perfect "Pam purse". A few seconds later, it dawned on me that Mary Jo had said "Pam purse", NOT "Pampers"!!!

 

Needless to say, we all had a good laugh about it!!!

 The infamous "Pam purse"!!!

My Radiation Routine

     I am settling into a radiation routine now that my appointments are at the same time each day. My time for each radiation for the next month and a half is at 10:10am. Last week my appointments were all over the place so planning anything else was challenging.

 

     Each Monday, I see Dr. Foster, my radiation oncologist. When we met today, I reported that I had not seen any skin changes yet. When he looked, however, he pointed out an area where my skin was beginning to change and become reddened. Obviously, he knew what to look for and I am still learning.

 

     The areas that are usually problematic for breast cancer patients are the collarbone, upper front shoulder, the breast, and the top of the back. The area he noticed redness was on my collarbone. I'll have to be religious about putting the Vanicream on to help keep the skin soft and prevent blistering later on. Redness usually doesn't appear until after about radiation #15 on most people so I guess I'm an early starter!!! Darn! Not a race I wanted to place early in!!!

     I have had several "left over" chemo issues these past 2 1/2 weeks. My immune system is very weak so I have had two UTI's within days of each other. I had finished all my antibiotic from the first UTI and felt good for two days. Then I started feeling crummy like I could be getting another UTI but ignored the symptoms for two days, thinking I COULDN'T be getting another one since I had just finished my meds. Unfortunately, I was wrong! Yup! Another UTI so I am now taking the second round of antibiotics. Hopefully, this time the antibiotics will do the trick and completely cure my symptoms. If you're a guy and don't know about UTI's, just trust me (or ask your wife)...they don't feel very good!  :-(

     The next two paragraphs are sort of icky so "ye of weak stomachs" might want to skip the next two paragraphs. 

     The second side effect of chemo I am learning to cope with is loss of some of my nails. The Taxotere chemo drug that I had during my chemo infusions is very hard on fingernails and toenails, causing them to loosen and fall off.  Since chemo has been done for several weeks, my fingernails look better now than they did while I was on chemo. They are very weak and brittle but I can live with that. I do not think I will lose them but I won't know for sure for a while yet.

 

     Taxotere wasn't as kind to my toenails. I have lost one toenail so far (yucky, gross, and disgusting!!!). I anticipate another three will fall off within the near future. When I was receiving chemo, four toenails had at least a third of the toenail turn black. Those are the other three that I'm sure will be detaching soon. The Golden Thread here is that summer is over and I won't be wearing sandals or toeless shoes anymore this fall so no one has to see my toenail-less toes!  :-)

     Ok, "ye of weak stomachs", you can start reading here again!

     Two weekends ago, we pulled the docks out. Our son, Bob, came down to help. Since he brought Olivia along, my job was to take care of her while Arland and Bob worked on the docks. I LOVED that job!!! Here is what Olivia and I did while they worked. She loves, LOVES, LOVES to swing! She is 17 months old.

I was packing boxes to take home the left-over food from the lake since we don't heat the cabin during the winter. Here is how we filled the boxes! She is such a sweet, good natured little girl! We had so much fun!!!

She is one of the three "little" reasons (Brody and Logan being the other two) that I can stay positive through this whole venture! 

Radiation... 6 Down, 27 To Go!

     Radiation has been a cake walk so far compared to my chemo experiences. Because it is so early into radiation, I have not yet experienced any side effects. I know they will come within a week or so, but until then, I can smile knowing that I have a little more time to get stronger before I need to deal with the fatigue that I have been warned about.

 

    The last five days, I have had lots and lots of bone pain in my legs, back, and shoulders. I THINK it was because my platelets and hemoglobin were still very low and my poor bones were working "double time" to try to get all the necessary rebuilding done since my last chemo really brought my counts waaaaay down again. To help the "building" process, I take my prenatal vitamins and a B12 supplement. One Golden Thread here is that for everyone else taking prenatal vitamins, they are probably fighting off morning sickness...NOT me!!!  :-)

 

     Radiation is every day, Monday through Friday. It is a quick, painless process. I get my own hospital gown from the cupboard, go into a dressing room and undress from the waist up. I put on the lovely rose colored hospital gown and wait in an a sort-of-private area (not out in the general waiting room) until the radiation technicians call me. I really shouldn't say "wait" because as I come out with my gown on, the two technicians are almost always standing there waiting for me.

 

The technicians and I walk into a huge radiation room that has a VERY large machine in the center of the room. I lie on a hard plastic bed/board/table and get into position for radiation. My right arm is up over my head holding on to a peg, my left arm is at my side with my hand under my hip, and my head is turned (or more accurately..."cranked") to the left.

 

The technicians move the machine into place above me and line up all the markers with my lovely tattoos to make sure the radiation is going to the right spots. Then the technicians leave the room so they are not exposed to the radiation. They can see and hear me on their monitors so if I ever needed to stop the process for any reason, they could stop it.

 

     As soon as they leave the room, the clicking, whirring, and buzzing begins. The machine delivers the radiation beams, rotates over me and to my sides, clicks, whirrs and buzzes again several times until all the fields on my body have been radiated. I feel nothing during the process. That's a Golden Thread for me! It's painless!

 

 I have counted several times and the actual "radiating" is about 15 to 25 seconds. That's not very long! It is repeated several times at various angles.

     The technicians then come back into the room and tell me I am done and am free to go. The undressing and redressing probably takes longer than the actual radiation process!

 

     My first radiation was on Sept. 25th. That one was scary because I had never had it done before but now, after five treatments, radiation is becoming routine too, just as chemo had become routine. Crazy how life changes...saying that radiation is now a comfortable routine!!!

 

     I am thankful for the fact that radiation decreases my chances of cancer recurrence in the radiated areas. For people like me who have cancer in a breast and a lymph node, the chance of local recurrence (same breast) in five years is about 16%. Radiation therapy can reduce this risk to about 2%.

 

     I hope you have learned a little about the radiation process.

Thanks to all of you for your continued thoughts and prayers. They sustain me.

    

What Retired People Do!

Have you ever wondered what it is exactly that retired people do? We wondered that before we retired! Here are some pictures from a few weeks ago that show what some retired people get to do.

 

 

 

     Arland and I attended the MOCIC Conference in Deadwood, SD.  I had never gotten to attend the Fall MOCIC conference with him before because it was always in the middle of September...and if you're a first grade teacher, you know that a first grade teacher NEVER leaves the classroom for an entire week that soon into the school year!!! We visited Mount Rushmore and had a very fun-filled, relaxing week.

     During the day, there were tours available for the spouses. My friends, Faye, Deb, Peggy and I were doing some shopping after a wonderful lunch.

     What else do retired people do??? Arland and I have gotten to spend a few days at the lake. It was warm the day I took this picture of Arland fishing but quite cold the day he took the next picture. 

 

     We also took Kristi and the boys fishing. Here are the boys in action!

 

 Brody caught a nice sized sunfish! He was proud and quite impressed with his catch!

 

 

Logan caught an ugly bullhead! He was neither proud NOR impressed with his catch as you can tell from the look on his face!!!!!!!

     Tomorrow, I have several doctor appointments. I will get blood drawn and have another Herceptin infusion. I will also meet with my oncologist, Dr. Terstriep, for the last time during my chemo treatments. My next appointment with her will be in three months. My appointments will continue every three months for the first year.

 

     Then, at 1:00pm, my newest venture begins...my first radiation treatment. I will let you know more about that when I have experienced it. I was hoping I'd get another week to rest and build up my stamina but that was not to be I guess. The golden thread about starting radiation treatments tomorrow is that I will be done with my treatments that much sooner!!!

 

And that will be golden!

GREAT NEWS!!!!

     I had an awesome phone call this afternoon!!! 

 

Dr. Terstriep, my oncologist, called with some good news about my follow-up breast MRI that was done on Tuesday. There is NO more cancer in my breast...no residual cancer and no recurring cancer!!!!!!!!!!!! The chemo has done it's job!!!  I was delighted to hear that my breast is cancer free!!

 

     Now, as Paul Harvey used to say, for the rest of the story...

 

 Although the MRI detected no cancer in my breast, that doesn't mean that my lymph nodes are clear. Since I had one out of the five lymph nodes that they removed during surgery come back as positive for cancer, I need to have radiation to kill any cancer in the lymph nodes surrounding my breast.

 

     Radiation therapy is a targeted, effective way to destroy cancer cells that may still be around after surgery. Radiation can reduce the risk of breast cancer recurrence by about 70%.

 

Radiation therapy uses a special kind of high-energy beam to damage cancer cells. These high-energy beams, which are invisible to the human eye, damage a cell’s DNA which is the material that cells use to divide. Over time, the radiation damages cells that are in the path of its beam — normal cells as well as cancer cells. But radiation affects cancer cells more than normal cells. Cancer cells are very busy growing and multiplying. These two activities can be slowed or stopped by radiation damage. Because cancer cells are less organized than healthy cells, it's harder for them to repair the damage done by radiation. So cancer cells are more easily destroyed by radiation, while healthy, normal cells are better able to repair themselves and survive the treatment.

 

     Today I met with the Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Foster, and we got the radiation process started. He explained the radiation treatments and side effects. Two nurses also covered the process, side effects, and how to manage some of the side effects. After visiting with them, we began the Radiation Simulation.

 

     The Radiation Simulation started in the radiation room. I was directed to lie on a bed...no, let me rephrase that, lie on a hard table (no padding, just hard metal. Padding doesn't allow the machine to be as precise as it needs to be).

 

My right hand was placed over my head and I was instructed to hold on to a bar. My left hand was by my side, trying not to fall off of the narrow table I was on! I had to turn my head to the left and was told to try to remember how I was positioned because I needed to be in this exact position for every radiation, every time. I will have to be in this position for 20 minutes to 30 minutes every time I have radiation. It's not very comfortable but it's doable.

 

The nurses took pictures so that the techs who do the radiation have a reference for the real radiation days. Other pictures were sent to a radiation planning computer, which helps set up the treatment areas. Dr. Foster placed "stick-on wires" on the areas that needed radiation. Then they took measurements, lined up the linear accelerator (that's the machine that delivers the radiation), and did some other things. I had to lay VERY still during the measuring process because these marks need to be precisely in the right spot.

 

     The table/bed I was lying on moves and so I was slid into the machine part way so the Dr. and the nurses could see if all the measurements lined up with where I needed radiation. After that, they slid me out of the machine and marked three spots with a felt tipped marker. Those three marks need to be permanent because the marks tell the techs where to aim the radiation.

 

Sooooo, at the age of 62, I got my first, and let me add...my LAST, tattoos!!!!!! The reason I say my last tattoos is because it HURT!!! I must be a real wuss! 

 

The tattoo on my side didn't hurt much at all but the one on my stomach really hurt! The one on my chest hurt a bit but not as much as the one on my stomach. They use a needle to inject ink under the skin. The reading that I had done said the needle would be very small.  I would beg to differ!!! The tattoos are quite ugly...three little black dots!

 

     Dr. Foster and another doctor who is called a dosimetrist establish the size, shape, and number of the treatment fields. They design the treatment fields to maximize the dose of radiation to the area that needs to be treated and to avoid or minimize the dose to the normal surrounding tissues. Part of my lung, esophagus, and a couple other areas that do not have cancer will be getting radiation just because there is no way to avoid them being hit.

 

     I will have 33 radiation sessions. They will begin next week and will end mid-November. The radiation is every day, Monday through Friday.

 

     There is a sense of relief, of finally moving on after chemo, that makes me feel good about getting radiation started. I know the side effects will hit hard down the road but for now I'm focusing on moving past chemo.

 

Usually, my Golden Thread is something I am sure of.  Tonight, it will be something I believe will happen but can't be sure of yet. My Golden Thread is that I believe (and hope) that radiation won't be as challenging as chemo!!!

     My last thought for tonight is about beginning radiation treatments. It is:

 

 

That's how I'm viewing the 33 radiation treatments...fighting the battle again!