Hello, Chemo!

     Today I met chemo.

 

It wasn't a chance meeting. It was a planned meeting I was dreading for quite some time. I feared chemo because I knew what it could/would do to me. I knew the meeting was inevitable. So face to face, we met today.

 

     I knew I would walk into the RMCC (Roger Maris Cancer Center) with knees shaking...but I didn't. I knew my stomach would be churning...but it wasn't. I knew that I would want to turn around and run away as fast as I could...but I didn't! I knew I would be very scared...but I wasn't.

 

     I walked in calmly without any knots in my stomach, ready to face this venture instead of wanting to run away. I walked in on the arms of love and encouragement and friendship. I carried with me all the good wishes from yesterday. I was surrounded by something I cannot explain because of the gift given to me yesterday and in days past...the gift of support. It calmed me. It reassured me. It carried me. It sustained me. I know what a difference it made today. I cannot explain it but I know how profound it was and how powerfully I felt it!

     The day started early. I awoke shortly after six, showered, and applied EMLA cream to my port. EMLA cream is a numbing cream so you can't feel the needle (more about that needle later!) go through your skin into the port. By 7:40, Arland, Katie and I were all at the RMCC, ready to begin this new venture.

 

     Then I met an angel.

 

My chemo nurse was a real live angel on earth! Her name was Stacy. Stacy was sweet, kind, professional, smart, and very caring and compassionate. She was also an excellent communicator, explaining each and every step in detail before it happened. There were to be no surprises.

 

The first half hour was spent getting situated in my room, reviewing the plan, and answering questions. Stacy made me feel very comfortable. She is the kind of person you would want for a friend. I would be so lucky if I could have her again for my other infusions. That's not likely to happen...but I can hope!!!!

 

     Accessing the port was the next step. Stacy cleaned off the EMLA cream and began to prepare the port site. The IV is held in place by a needle that is connected to the IV.

 

Oh yes, that needle!!! 

 

Thank goodness, I had been shown the needle on the day the port was put in. Had I not seen it before, Stacey would have been picking me up off the floor! Not kidding! The needle is BIG, longer than you think it should be, slightly curved, and THICK!!!  YIKES!

 

     Because my port had been in only five days, it was tender and bruised. It had many red, orange, and yellow hues radiating out from the site from the bruising. Stacy counted down before she pushed the needle in so I would be ready. The pressure needed to get the needle in was uncomfortable because of the unhealed port but it wasn't horrible. The EMLA cream did it's job quite well. I felt a poke but not the kind of a stab that the needle looked like it could create!

 

Next she flushed the port with saline and thankfully, it performed perfectly! After that came the meds that prevent reactions and nausea.

 

Then I met chemo!

 

     Chemo appears to be very innocent. It looks just like water.

 

The first chemo drug I got was the Taxotere. The chemo, Carboplatin, followed. Lastly, I got the Herceptin (more about that later). I did not feel anything different when the chemos went in as compared to the IV drip.

 

Again, the prayers that have been offered up for me these last eight weeks worked because I did not have one single reaction to any of the drugs. I am very lucky and blessed to have escaped the scary reactions some people have. I sure it was because of the prayers.

 

     Herceptin is a drug that targets the kind of cancer I have. It works in a really cool way! It seeks out and locks onto protein cells called HER2+. (HER+2 is what makes my cancer the nasty, aggressive kind). Once it attaches to these cells, it brings in other immune cells to help kill them! What a smart drug!

 

     Did you know the chemo and other drugs used need to be pre-approved by your insurance company? As of 4:00pm yesterday, my Herceptin had not yet been approved. I NEED Herceptin because that's the drug that kills my kind of cancer!

 

Usually, Herceptin is given first followed by the other two chemo drugs but since it was still not approved this morning, the decision was made to go ahead and just do the two kinds of chemo. I'd have to come back for the Herceptin later after it had been approved.

 

This was NOT good because the chemo and the Herceptin work best when given together. We were so disappointed that insurance companies can dictate care in that way.

 

     We started the chemo and that's when your prayers worked again!!! The nurses and others at RMCC started making phone calls. Somehow, they got the Herceptin cleared so it could be given to me today. When Stacy told us, Arland, Katie, and I all cheered. I'm sure others in the rooms around us were wondering what all the noise was about!  :-) 

 

Stacey and the others involved went above and beyond and we are so grateful! As I said, she is an angel!

 

     By around 3:50pm, my treatments were all done and I could go home. Stacy again counted down as she removed the nail, I mean needle. I didn't think that would hurt but it did hurt for a few minutes.

 

     We had been there over eight hours. I'm sure it was long for Katie. She stayed the entire time. Arland left to go to work about 11:30 and came back to get me later.

 

For me, the day did not seem like eight plus hours. It seemed much shorter because I was feeling like I had finally been allowed to start this fight! Tomorrow, Kristi will post the pictures that were taken today.

 

     I am holding my breath until the side effects of the drugs begin. I have taken an anti-nausea pill and anther pill that will help the effects of the Neulasta shot I have to get tomorrow. I also have to take two steroid pills tomorrow that will help hold reactions at bay.

 

     Chemo kills white blood cells in your bone marrow. Neulasta works hard in your bone marrow to step up production of the white blood cells.  Because of the stress the bone marrow is under, your body and bones ache terribly for about three days.  I'm not looking forward to that. It is one of those necessary evils to get the white blood count back up. I will buck up and get through it.

 

     Well, I just found out I no longer have to hold my breath waiting for any side effects. I had put my hands on my face because my face felt funny. My face is very flushed and hot which is a reaction from the Taxotere. I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see how red I look. (Thanks for telling me about this, Shawn and Stacy, or I may not have been able to sleep tonight wondering about what was going on!!!) I'm hoping it will be gone by morning. I am also starting to feel the nausea.

 

     The side effects have officially begun. I will be carried through the additional side effects as they present themselves, just like I was this morning...with the gift I cannot explain in words. The cards, emails, gifts, and good wishes will make the side effects bearable. Because of you, I will make it through this venture and hopefully come out a better person.

 

     To each and every one of you who have offered kind words, support, food, cards, emails, and love, I want to sincerely say those two inadequate little words again. 

 

Thank you... 

 

With your help, I will get through this.