I Am Lucky...

Hi Family and Friends,
     As strange as that title may sound, tonight I realized I am LUCKY!!! A friend of mine who is a breast cancer survivor took me to a breast cancer support meeting. As I surveyed the women who had gathered around the tables, I realized my journey is not as bad as it could be.

     I could have been the young lady sitting across the table from me.  She is in her early 30's, was diagnosed 5 months ago, is in the midst of chemo, and has 3 little kids.  Or I could be the gal seated kiddy-corner from me who is also in her early 30's who won the breast cancer battle but is now waging war on the cancer that just recently reappeared in another part of her body.  She has a 3 year old and a 5 year old.  Or I could be the young woman who was only 24 when her breast cancer was diagnosed. Or I could be the sweet lady next to me who, because of breast cancer, cannot have a child that she and her husband desperately want. I realized I should be grateful for being diagnosed at my age instead of in the prime of my life.

     Soooooo...did that stop me from having a 20 minute pity party for myself tonight as I stood in the middle of my classroom that looked like a tornado had hit it as I was trying to box up 22+ years spent in that very classroom? No, my own personal pity party was where I was at for that short time tonight.  Why? Because I hate having to end my teaching career like this. Having poured my heart and soul into being a teacher, mom, nurse, counselor, cheerleader, disciplinarian, encourager, and grandma to so many kiddos over the span of 22 years, ending this way just doesn't feel right. That makes me so sad.

    So what to do about it???  The only way I have figured out to get past the "that just isn't right" feeling is to pass on things that have helped me be a good teacher these past years.  My thinking is that if I share all my books, tapes, CD's, poems, games, plans, posters, and all the other "treasures" I have accumulated over the years, then I will still be a part of some child's life. Granted, I will never know those children but if they can get some delight from one of my silly poems or have the light bulb "click on" as they listen to a book I loved, then I will have the satisfaction of knowing my passion carries on through a number of other teachers.

     And for that, I am grateful...