Sadness, Sobs and Sweet Surprises

     It's 2:45am Sunday morning and sleep has been elusive again these last 2 nights. Rather than just lay there waiting, I decided I may as well be productive and write.

 

     Friday was the day I was dreading. It was my last day in school and I had to tell my little ones that I would not be there at my door to greet them Monday morning.  I waited until 2:10 because three of my kiddos leave at 2:20 to catch a bus. I felt like I was in full control of my emotions and thought I was ready to tell them.

 

     I called all the children up to the front and we gathered in our tight little circle as we do each day for story time but today it wasn't a story they were going to hear.

 

I began by telling them that as much as I loved being their teacher, I wasn't going to be able to teach them for the rest of the year. Today was the last day I would be with them because I needed to have surgery. I promised I would come back to visit them but that when I did, they wouldn't be able to hug me anymore because my "ribs" would be sore. (I didn't want to give them full details...that determination would be up to their parents.  I had written a letter to their parents that Friday disclosing that my leave was due to breast cancer surgery and treatments so the parents would be aware.)

 

     I had been looking down at my hands as I delivered the unhappy news. I should NOT have looked up at them because when I did, I noticed two little girls sitting up close to me had tears running down their faces.

 

I'm sure you can guess what happened next. I immediately got tears in my eyes and fought desperately to maintain control, but it took a minute to gain my composure. By then, both girls had little sobs coming from each of them.

 

I tried so hard to keep discussion moving but the sobbing began to spread to other children and soon all I heard was a big ocean of sobs. Over half the class was sobbing uncontrollably and I could not do anything to help them feel better.

     As the sobbing grew, several people came down the hall to see what was the matter. As they realized what was happening, they left us alone, knowing that I was telling them. Besides, all would be ok when the bell rang at 2:45.

 

Boy, were they wrong!!!

 

 The children's sobbing grew louder and louder and I knew I had to do something quickly. I decided that if we read a funny book, they would be distracted enough to quit crying and all would be well.

 

Wrong again!!!

 

As I read, their sobs got louder and louder. I knew I needed to try something else so as I announced what we were going to do next, my little Dennis the Menace boy (you know the kind...naughty, always in trouble, but oh, so lovable!!!) loudly announced loudly with a curved sweeping arm pump and a grin on his face, "Well, THAT certainly didn't work, did it!!!"  Of course, I laughed through my tears!

 

     Nothing I tried was working, so cry on we all did. By now, it was time to go home so our classroom para, Cindy, was in the hall helping two little kiddos who need extra help at the end of the day. As the children walked back to their desks, one of my sweet, very soft hearted little boys who was trying soooo hard to be brave came over to me and said, "These aren't tears in my eyes.  I just poked myself in the eye".  As he left the room he told Cindy, "I had to leave my classroom because I was starting to cry."  :-)

 

     It was almost time for all the children to leave so I thought one way to help the sobbing subside might be a great big group hug.

 

Very, VERY wrong!!!

 

By now, nearly everyone was a mess!!! I have never before prayed for the dismissal bell to ring but at that point, it was all I could do.

 

Finally, it did ring and I gave each little one their last tight hug and an extra squeeze. I usually walk my kiddos down to the door but I couldn't do that because of my own tears. As the parents who had gathered at the end of the hall to pick up their own children stared down towards our room watching ALL of these sobbing children come out of my room, all I could do was stand there and hug the last ones. I'm sure the parents were wondering what kind of a MEAN teacher I was to make so many children cry!!!

 

     After the children were gone from my room, Jodi and Lisa (two of my 1st grade teammates) came in. We talked and I cried. I knew I had to pull myself together because I had an IEP ("Individual Education Plan" for all the non-teachers) meeting at 2:45.

 

     And... oh, by the way, have I mentioned how CRABBY I was that on a Friday afternoon, the last day of my teaching career, someone had scheduled an hour long IEP meeting after school!!!

 

 My poor teammates, all 4 of them, plus a few others had heard it repeatedly!  SORRY Lisa, Jodi, Erica, Kristina and Nicole!!!

 

     Just at the point I was feeling like I had pulled myself together enough to go to this meeting, someone walked in and handed me a beautiful scrumptious-looking fruit bouquet. As I read the card, I burst into tears all over again because it was such a sweet thing to do and a totally unexpected surprise! Thanks, ladies!!!!

 

     Again, I tried to pull myself together so I could get to the IEP meeting but Lisa and Jodi were guiding me towards the lounge.  A few seconds earlier, waaaaaay in the back of my consciousness, I had heard clapping in the lounge but I was so self-absorbed trying to pull myself together, that the sound didn't register.

 

As they guided me out of my room to the meeting (or so I thought), they led me to the door of the lounge. Imagine my COMPLETE SHOCK as they opened the door and I realized the entire staff had gathered there. The clapping was for me. (More on why we end each year by gathering in the lounge and doing a clapping ritual in a later post).

 

My team had planned a surprise "end of the year" party for me!!!!!! Of course, you can imagine what I did...yup, MORE tears. I was totally blown away because I had no idea they had planned this.  All four of them said they had to bite their tongue more than once during the week as I whined about my last day IEP meeting!!! (By the way, there really WAS an IEP meeting... I got to skip it though!!!  :-) )

 

     I will never forget the kindnesses shown to me on my last day. It will be a memory that will help me get through the tough times because it was such a kind, sweet act of love given to someone who was undeserving (because of all my whining!!!) and totally unsuspecting!

 

     Because of my caring, supportive, and all around awesome 1st grade teaching team, my dreaded last day turned into a memory I will cherish forever!